Here are Proof of Burden’s recommendations for what to do if you would like to talk to a woman wearing headphones. Remember, this is a potentially dangerous situation, but if you keep calm, you can leave unharmed, like the vast majority of people who encounter women wearing headphones.
Safety first! If you are going to be an area that has women wearing headphones, take simple precautions. Make noise as you travel so that any women wearing headphones know you are coming and can leave the area if given the chance. It is also advisable to travel in a sizable group, which is both louder and more easily smelled by a woman wearing headphones. This minimizes the chances of an encounter. However, sometimes it is completely unavoidable. What do you do then?
Stand Your Ground
Should you come across a woman wearing headphones, stop. Running may provoke the woman wearing headphones. Some sources suggest playing dead, but since women wearing headphones are carrion eaters and naturally curious, you could be putting yourself in harms way. Instead, try to look both big and non-threatening. Wave your arms and slowly and make neutral noises. All kinds of women who wear headphones can climb trees, so do not try to seek refuge there. By looking big and nonthreatening, you signal to the woman wearing headphones that a fight might be dangerous and costly.
Try To Leave
If possible, try to leave the area. However, it is very important that the woman wearing headphones has an escape route. If you block her way out, she may become agitated and attack. In any event, allow the woman wearing headphones to leave on her own. They are naturally averse to conflict and will see themselves out in due time. Do not, under any circumstances, turn your back on a woman wearing headphones who may say it as prey behavior. If possible, move sideways in order to minimize the chances of tripping.
Finally, women wearing headphones are especially dangerous if they have cubs. Do not approach the cubs of women wearing headphones, even if they appear to be alone, because she may attack. Do not put yourself between the mother and her cubs. These women who wear headphones are especially aggressive.
It is important that we be able to share the world with these majestic creatures. With common sense and a cool head, you can escape an encounter with a woman wearing headphones with nothing more than a story to share with your friends.
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